The Roxie Wag

You gotta admit when the going gets tough, I get going…and
today I got down to business just as our resident and infamous ‘pit bull lawyer’ and the wifey were getting in their chaufferred car service. Sealed the deal right there by his bumper.

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Possession is 9/10ths of the Law

When I’m out and about on the street and I stop here and there to take care of business, most of the time it’s all just for show, I’m fak’in it. I’m just claiming real estate and making sure that everyone knows the facts and not to get any big ideas… it’s all mine.

The curb, the sidewalk part of the street, the bushes, those pretty Gingko trees that have such nice shade—mine. That mailbox that’s so comfortable to lean against while making a phone call—mine. All the grass I’ve ever trod upon in Manhattan and the Hamptons…all mine. Mine mine, mine — and don’t forget it.

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Business was a little bit soft today and quite aromatic, I dare say…even before this afternoon’s meeting started. I’m thinking maybe I ought to put out a ‘poofume’ line.

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A Girl’s Gotta Do What a Girl’s Gotta Do

I reached a new low this weekend at our Hamptons house. There was quite the spread for our dinner guests, Aged Cheese, Sesame Crackers, Guacamole, Tortilla Chips, Salsa, Sauteed Sugar Snap Peas, and the ‘pièce de résistance’ Barbequed Tequila/Lime Marinated Turkey Breast.

It smelled divine, but apparently none of it was meant for me, so I had to take matters into my own hands and snarf leftover bits from the garbage. It wasn’t pretty, but I got what I wanted.

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Just got back from a walk and a run to Charlie Mom’s for Dim-Sum. They wouldn’t let us in, (dog discrimination—gotta do something about that law) but they came outside and took our order. They know how to do good business, as do I. Twice today so far.

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Something is in the Air

Went to the park again today. Same ole, same ole. But on the way home there was a big fluffy white dog of an indeterminate breed that laid down and offered himself to me, unconditionally. How often does that happen? Too bad I just wasn’t in the mood.

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Ohhh… that smells good.

Went for a jaunt to the upper west side today. What a smorgasborg of aromas! So unlike the rather bland east side where I live. Hot dogs, bagels, chili, fajitas, gyros, seasame noodles, bratwurst, marinara sauce, sushi and sweet grilled fatty bits. It was all there on the ground and free for the sniffing. Feel like I gained five pounds, but it was worth it. Can’t wait to go back.

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Relieved

Hi Mom, She took me out moments ago. I took care all my business, checked up on my liquid assets (not bad considering the economy) and the solid earners like bonds and oil stocks. The market went up today so all in all I’m very optimistic. Maybe we oughta rethink those bonds. Rox

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I hit the motherlode today!

Took nine years but I finally did it. I annoyed Mom so much by barking and scratching at her tennis bag that dozens of my favorite chicken cookies (Chicken Nibbles TM) came flying my way. A whole pile. Took nearly a whole minute to gobble them up.

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In the Spotlight

We went to the park again today–two whole hours, she’s such a tree hugger! We schlepped all the way to the Zoo and back up Madison Ave…My Fave! Tourists were taking my picture left and right. I was a huge hit and everyone was smiling at me!

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Oh Boy, it’s HOT out there!

They said global warming has arrived and they weren’t kidding! It’s in the 90s out there and its still April. I went out, had a short business meeting by the the curb, and hopped right back inside lickity-split, into the air conditioning. Big doings on our floor today. Our neighbor a lady who had a cat, has moved out.

We’re keeping our fingers and paws crossed for a cute single guy to move in. We need a whole lot more testosterone on this floor. Rox

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I’m Back

Went on a shopping spree in East Hampton over the weekend. All the store owners remembered me from last year. I hope it’s because they really like me and not just because of the high spending limit on my Mom’s credits cards.

I was back up to my old tricks checking out the store rooms (they never put all the good stuff out,) snooping around the dressing rooms, and looking for the odd bits of leftover lunches. I’m always on the lookout for snacks and new outfits.

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My Paws Have Landed!

I’m back in the Hamptons. Snagged a Big Mac and fries on the way out, and I’ve got grass. Life is good.

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Rock ‘n Roll

Mom,

We saw Mick Jagger today on Madison Avenue…and more importantly he saw me!… He did a double take and smiled at me. Made my day!!!

Love Rox xox

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Good News, Bad News

Hi Mom,

There’s good news and bad news today. The bad news is that my two business partners (you and her, by the way) have come late to meetings and totally missed some altogether. So I had to re-organize the business and set up a home office. Did so on Memory Lane. The location was good, but I’m afraid it’s a bit smelly, being new business and all.

The good news is that I think there are some big tax deductions you can now take for having a home office. Better get that tax return back and revise it. We could really use some refund cash. My collar is getting a bit shabby.

Rox xox

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Pee’ple Can Be Clueless

Hi Mom,

I saw the funniest thing yesterday. It was soooo funny. But probably just if you’re a dog like me, which as you know I am not just a dog….anyhow we were out for a walk and we saw this lady and her Beagle-boy dog walking in front of us. She should definitely not have a dog this lady… anyhow the doggie started to lift his leg to pee on a garbage can, but the lady didn’t notice what her dog was doing and just kept on walking, pulling the dog along behind her.

Well, the dog still peeing, hopped along on three legs, behind his Mom and when she got to the corner maybe five feet further, she got stopped by the light. Meanwhile the doggie was still peeing. So he just kept peeing on the closest thing he could find which was her leg.

He pee’d the entire time they were stopped at the light, her pants were soaked…and get this she still didn’t notice. They walked away and she never once looked down at him or seem to notice the pee on her leg.

I’d never do that to you. Luv Rox xox

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New Food Plan

Hi Mom,

She came over to take me out and couldn’t believe the mess I had made with my food. It was all over the place and not even a drop in the bowl. I tried to explain to her about my new food plan, but she didn’t get it. With age, I’ve learned how to savor my meals and not just woof them down in a second.

Ever since I was put on that tasteless, colorless exuse for fine dining, it’s necessary for me to make sure that the few gourmet shreds of chicken I do get, don’t get tainted by that other stuff. So I have to take it out and pick it apart.

I get so much more of a variety of flavors, and textures in my meals if I switch up where I eat them.

Off of the long rug, I get a little ‘fuzz buzz’ on my tongue.
Off of the kitchen floor the food tastes a little fresher, crisper and lighter.
Off of the wood floor, I taste earthy tones that just aren’t there when I eat directly from that metal bowl, which can alter the flavor in a bad way of just about anything.

It’s not my fault that she came over barefoot and it squished between her toes, Rox xox