The Roxie Wag

No Pets Allowed

What is that about? The places that display this sign obviously don’t know what a foodie I am! Nor the lengths to which I will go to for ‘people’ food. First of all, let’s get this straight. I don’t do DOG FOOD. I eat take-out gourmet chicken, (unfortunately with some dreadful prescription dog food that my Mom insists on mixing with the chicken.) So its neccessary for me to supplement my meals every way I can — sometimes it ain’t pretty, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

Most of my kind find hanging out at peoples’ feet at the dinner table, hoping for droppings, satisfactory. Not me. Big dinner parties are my favorite milieu. Someone always gets up — and when they do I put on my cutest face, grab something from their plate and I’m off. Half the time no one even catches me.

I do my best work with Hors D’oeuvres on a low cocktail table – although I was caught last summer standing on the table with 2 empty dip dishes licked dry and cracker pieces hanging from my moustache. That same week, while we were walking around a Flea Market, a fellow walking in front of us was dangling his hot dog a little low. I just couldn’t help grabbing and gobbling it up. Mmmm, mmm, love those dogs!