She said ‘we’ had to cut back
She said ‘we’ had to cut back, and it’s come to this.
A sink and a raggedy sponge.
Since when did ‘we’ mean just me? I’ve seen her new haircut,
and between us, there’s no way she cut it herself.
Fixed-up For Fix’ins
Don’t like blind dates. Never have, never will, but this SGL (Single Golden Lab) had real class, didn’t even fudge on the age question. What a night! After the usual first date dance of meeting in a public place, taking a walk in the park and sniffing each other up, we ended up at a townhouse to die for, just off Fifth Avenue.
There was a private chef, and the biggest dog bones I’ve ever seen. We lapped up iced drinks in a cozy but totally luxurious library and dined on choice bits of filet mignon. Okay, he turned out to be a B!*ch, but what the heck, nobody’s perfect.
Way too Green for Me
Scooper Scofflaws!! They are everywhere lately, and from the looks of it, (I can tell by the size of the business deals I see) that it’s mostly the big guys, the BMOCs, the Alphas, the TypeAs who are the worst offenders. Do they think they are doing the right thing by the environment by just leaving it where it drops? I say enough, let’s get some stimulus dollars to double… no, triple the size of the NYC Scooper Pooper Police force and build more doggie parks for us little guys and girls!
Time to Tone the Bod
I woke up this morning and realized that summer is just around the corner and it’s time to hit the gym. Don’t think that my daily ‘downward facing dog’ exercise (is this perfect form or what?) is doing anything for my backside.
At my “puppy shower,” many moons ago, I got a gym membership. You guessed it! Went once — got caught peeing on the gym mats instead of playing doggie dodge ball, and never went back. Wondering if they’ll let that slide and allow me in for a spin.
When money grew on trees?
It’s raining here today and on days like this I like to reminisce. One of my favorites is when I was in the elevator with my Mom and I had to “go” real bad. The elevator stopped on every floor and was going soooo slow that I couldn’t hold it and pooped between the third and fourth floors.
Mom was obviously not prepared for this, and, as all eyes burned daggers right through her, she casually pulled out a crisp five dollar bill, bent down, picked up my business and carried the little money package right out the door.
She would so never do that now!
Woof’s Up
April 30, 2009
Is this how I’m supposed to wear it?
I’m doggone scared of that swine flu!!!
Woof’s Up
April 30, 2009
No Pets Allowed
What is that about? The places that display this sign obviously don’t know what a foodie I am! Nor the lengths to which I will go to for ‘people’ food. First of all, let’s get this straight. I don’t do DOG FOOD. I eat take-out gourmet chicken, (unfortunately with some dreadful prescription dog food that my Mom insists on mixing with the chicken.) So its neccessary for me to supplement my meals every way I can — sometimes it ain’t pretty, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
Most of my kind find hanging out at peoples’ feet at the dinner table, hoping for droppings, satisfactory. Not me. Big dinner parties are my favorite milieu. Someone always gets up — and when they do I put on my cutest face, grab something from their plate and I’m off. Half the time no one even catches me.
I do my best work with Hors D’oeuvres on a low cocktail table – although I was caught last summer standing on the table with 2 empty dip dishes licked dry and cracker pieces hanging from my moustache. That same week, while we were walking around a Flea Market, a fellow walking in front of us was dangling his hot dog a little low. I just couldn’t help grabbing and gobbling it up. Mmmm, mmm, love those dogs!
Handling Celebrity. Bo is in the House.
The First Doggy Bo. Been there and done that. I’ve been a celeb from the day I was born and to be honest, you either have it or you don’t. I can tell that Bo will do just fine in the spotlight, he’s got that certain something that can’t be learned or inherited.
The Roxie Wag 