It’s Heating-Up in the Hamptons
First Ashton, now Bon Jovi in spinning class on the bike right next to me…also spotted Alec Baldwin and Sir Paul McCartney. Does it get any better than this?
Facing Facts
I don’t like the way it sounds or what it implies
but the reality is — I’m a “cougar!”
…and I especially like ’em young—like Sweet Nathan. He was my first—it sort of felt as if I had robbed the crate—a month shy of his second birthday that chilly February day. But it was an afternoon I’ll never forget. Yup, we took a long walk in the snow, shared kibble and chased squirrels.
Stars and Stripes Forever!!!
Is this a good look for me or what? I was the hit of the party last night…and the party was a blast!
Love on the Rise
A tall, dark handsome man, a real McSteamy, put the moves on me while Mom and I were in the elevator. As we made our way up to our floor he couldn’t stop looking me up and down, and giving me the once over. Finally, he asked flat out, “Boy or Girl?”
(My first thought was-duh-this one’s not the brightest bulb in the box. Isn’t my heart-shaped rhinestone studded collar and leash a clue?) But without skipping a beat, Mom said, “girl!”
He looked back down at me, winked, and said “If she were a real girl, I’d be dating her.”… I think I’m in love.
To Tweet or Not to Tweet
I meet a lot of guys and I gotta say, I’m a bit fuzzy on ‘The Rules’ these days. How long does one wait after a meet and greet or a first date to ‘text’ him—how about ‘im-ing’ and ‘ichat-ing’? Does ‘friending’ him on ‘facebook’ say I like you, but we’re never, ever having sex? Is following someone on ‘Twitter’ the same as stalking?
I say it makes no difference at all… Men are men, they’re pretty basic when it comes down to brass tacks and respond to attention of any kind whatsoever. So tweet, text and im away!
Shhhhh!!!
Oh my gosh, got laryngitis—how is that possible in June, I ask you!—oh yeah, had to deal with the two scraggly yappers down the hall and lost my voice yelling at them. I’ll be back as soon as soon as I can speak.
A Girl’s Gotta Do What a Girl’s Gotta Do
I reached a new low this weekend at our Hamptons house. There was quite the spread for our dinner guests, Aged Cheese, Sesame Crackers, Guacamole, Tortilla Chips, Salsa, Sauteed Sugar Snap Peas, and the ‘pièce de résistance’ Barbequed Tequila/Lime Marinated Turkey Breast.
It smelled divine, but apparently none of it was meant for me, so I had to take matters into my own hands and snarf leftover bits from the garbage. It wasn’t pretty, but I got what I wanted.
Eating Well With Others
I know you cats are athletic and can jump from high shelves and catch mice and all, but just watch me beat you at licking this bowl clean of chicken? Ready set go.
Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend
Not sure whether I want to eat it or wear it—my life is so full of hard choices like this. But I Just luv the new bling my Mom got for me over the weekend.
Seen On The Street
OMG pink ears and tail — she’s soooo Bridge and Tunnel, and can you believe it — lives in the Hamptons!
(BTW, this floozy may look a little like me, but my Mom would never, ever do this do me!)
My mom went to Egypt without me and all I got was this head scarf, but I’m at peace with that. Assalaamu alaykum.
Gotcha… Hands Up!
I’m so excited, the crime scene cuties caught our thieves. That’s right, the ones who broke into our beach house a few weeks back. Seems that they had a weakness for On Demand porn and left a trail a mile wide. So busted.
I can’t wait to go to the station and check them out in the line-up. Just thinking about being surrounded by
hunky police dogs in uniform gives me a thrill. Yummy!!!
Something is in the Air
Went to the park again today. Same ole, same ole. But on the way home there was a big fluffy white dog of an indeterminate breed that laid down and offered himself to me, unconditionally.
How often does that happen?
Crime Scene Cuties
I’m canceling DoggieJDate. There’s a new game in town. We had an incident at our Hamptons house and had to call the cops. The two most adorable officers came to check out the damage. Men in uniforms… Works for me. I made them dust me for fingerprints. It was just the best.
Okay I admit it, I love sniffing tush.
And where is the absolute best place to do so? It’s a no brainer… the dog park, of course. Total access in a confined space. What more could a ‘tushyist’ like myself ask for? I call it pretty darn close to heaven.
It’s just like High School. There are the popular ones (that would be me in my younger days. I was known as Ms. Perky.) Everyone paid attention to me. I was constantly on the move and in the center of the action. Now I just lurk in the corners waiting for an available tush to come my way. I then go stealth, sneak up from behind and go in for a good whiff, then dash away, because my tush, by the way, is off limits at all times.
There are the jocks (the ones with the biggest balls and chewy toys) who dominate the park, swagger about, and hump everyone in sight, the drama queens (the ones who whine and moan about not getting a chance to play with any toys) but, then, given the chance, think the toys are too disgusting to put in their mouths. I’ve actually seen Moms and Dads at the park using plastic bags to pick up balls. Can you believe it? Such sissies!
The nerds (the ones who are always picked on) who huddle in small bunches in corners and appear to not be doing much of anything, but are actually creating the next wave of something cool that will take over the world, the teachers pets (we know who they are) sucking up to anyone giving away doggy treats, then scoot away and hide under benches or behind trees.
I just love the dog park, even though I’d never, ever, want to go back to High School.
The Roxie Wag 