A Girl’s Gotta Do What a Girl’s Gotta Do
I reached a new low this weekend at our Hamptons house. There was quite the spread for our dinner guests, Aged Cheese, Sesame Crackers, Guacamole, Tortilla Chips, Salsa, Sauteed Sugar Snap Peas, and the ‘pièce de résistance’ Barbequed Tequila/Lime Marinated Turkey Breast.
It smelled divine, but apparently none of it was meant for me, so I had to take matters into my own hands and snarf leftover bits from the garbage. It wasn’t pretty, but I got what I wanted.
Eating Well With Others
I know you cats are athletic and can jump from high shelves and catch mice and all, but just watch me beat you at licking this bowl clean of chicken? Ready set go.
Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend
Not sure whether I want to eat it or wear it—my life is so full of hard choices like this. But I Just luv the new bling my Mom got for me over the weekend.
Seen On The Street
OMG pink ears and tail — she’s soooo Bridge and Tunnel, and can you believe it — lives in the Hamptons!
(BTW, this floozy may look a little like me, but my Mom would never, ever do this do me!)
My mom went to Egypt without me and all I got was this head scarf, but I’m at peace with that. Assalaamu alaykum.
Gotcha… Hands Up!
I’m so excited, the crime scene cuties caught our thieves. That’s right, the ones who broke into our beach house a few weeks back. Seems that they had a weakness for On Demand porn and left a trail a mile wide. So busted.
I can’t wait to go to the station and check them out in the line-up. Just thinking about being surrounded by
hunky police dogs in uniform gives me a thrill. Yummy!!!
In the Spotlight
We went to the park again today–two whole hours, she’s such a tree hugger! We schlepped all the way to the Zoo and back up Madison Ave…My Fave! Tourists were taking my picture left and right. (I tell ya, the city is crawling with them lately). I was a huge hit and everyone was smiling at me!
Something is in the Air
Went to the park again today. Same ole, same ole. But on the way home there was a big fluffy white dog of an indeterminate breed that laid down and offered himself to me, unconditionally.
How often does that happen?
Crime Scene Cuties
I’m canceling DoggieJDate. There’s a new game in town. We had an incident at our Hamptons house and had to call the cops. The two most adorable officers came to check out the damage. Men in uniforms… Works for me. I made them dust me for fingerprints. It was just the best.
Memorial Day
Just ‘Imagine’…a juicy hunk of filet mignon, a mountain of chicken cookies, free love, a Beagles reunion, and…oh yeah,
World Peace.
(BTW, In case you’re a little behind the times, that’s the John Lennon ‘Imagine’ Memorial behind me in Central Park.)
Okay I admit it, I love sniffing tush.
And where is the absolute best place to do so? It’s a no brainer… the dog park, of course. Total access in a confined space. What more could a ‘tushyist’ like myself ask for? I call it pretty darn close to heaven.
It’s just like High School. There are the popular ones (that would be me in my younger days. I was known as Ms. Perky.) Everyone paid attention to me. I was constantly on the move and in the center of the action. Now I just lurk in the corners waiting for an available tush to come my way. I then go stealth, sneak up from behind and go in for a good whiff, then dash away, because my tush, by the way, is off limits at all times.
There are the jocks (the ones with the biggest balls and chewy toys) who dominate the park, swagger about, and hump everyone in sight, the drama queens (the ones who whine and moan about not getting a chance to play with any toys) but, then, given the chance, think the toys are too disgusting to put in their mouths. I’ve actually seen Moms and Dads at the park using plastic bags to pick up balls. Can you believe it? Such sissies!
The nerds (the ones who are always picked on) who huddle in small bunches in corners and appear to not be doing much of anything, but are actually creating the next wave of something cool that will take over the world, the teachers pets (we know who they are) sucking up to anyone giving away doggy treats, then scoot away and hide under benches or behind trees.
I just love the dog park, even though I’d never, ever, want to go back to High School.
On My Way to The Hamptons
I’m on my way to the beach for the Holiday weekend but I want to remind you that there’s a lot more to me than just this ‘Home’ page. Don’t forget to check out all of me. Each of those headings in the black bar has juicy detalis of my life since the start of my Wag!
It’s My Way or the Highway
I’ve got a mind of my own. If I don’t feel like going for a walk
or to the nail salon for the umpteenth time, I’ve got sure-fire
tactics to ‘get what I want, when I want it!’
I make a scene – a really big fuss.
I do so loudly, and in public, preferably with women,
and children around.
I stop short, dig in my heels and don’t budge,
and top it off with the best (Oscar worthy)
fake coughing, choking and gagging in the business.
Point made, I put on my widest, toothiest smile
and sashay away whistling ‘I did it my way.’
Sheer Madness
Mom caved. The whole ‘cut back’ plan just wasn’t working for us, so I’m styling again! My regular hair stylist wasn’t there (don’t you hate when that happens?) Went home, looked in the mirror and I was a schnauzer – mutton chops and all! I just died. Went right back for a redo.
Separated at Birth
I can’t believe how much I look like Jane Fonda’s Tulea.
Only I don’t do bows, I do balls.
The Roxie Wag 